Friday, May 14, 2010


It would be insane of me to think I could control the weather – to think that, by worrying and fretting and fuming and manipulating, I could produce one sunlit day after another. Anyone would consider that an utterly senseless way to think, but is it any more senseless than for me to think I can control happiness? I have spent a good part of my waking hours (maybe 95%, shockingly enough) attempting to make sure I am happy at all times, and when, for umpteen various reasons, I occasionally find that I am not happy, I get nervous, cross, and sometimes quite sad. Poor me! I’m not experiencing pure happiness right now! I don’t deserve this! How silly would it be if I acted this way about the weather – if I went outside in a rainstorm and commanded the sun to come out! I wouldn’t do this, of course, because I fully understand that the weather does what it wants to when it wants to. The weather is irregular, inconstant, unsteady, and unsettled, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. What I have to do is realize that all of life, including moods, is exactly the same. Storms sometimes follow sunshine, and sadness occasionally comes after happiness. It’s the way things work. Just as I usually find a way to accept rainstorms and perhaps even appreciate them, I need to find a way to say yes to occasional gloom and grief, and who knows, perhaps even recognize the value of them.

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