ONE BILLION ACTS OF MADNESS
July 13, 2008
It came to me this morning, with a great shock of recognition, that I have spent most of my life doing an activity that makes absolutely no sense. You might say I’ve been acting like an insane person, doing the same absurd and pointless thing over and over again. I’ve been engaged in this lunacy almost every moment of almost every day of my life, which adds up to about 1,370,000,000 acts of sheer madness. Incredible.
Surely a reader would be wondering just exactly what is this craziness that I’m speaking of, and it is simply this: For more than one billion moments, I have been trying to protect something that does not actually exist – my ego. From my earliest memories, I have envisioned a separate, isolated, independent person called “Hamilton Salsich”, and have spent most of my waking moments trying to protect that person. By constantly being either aggressive or defensive, I have done my best to maintain a security fence around this supposedly distinct ego. What’s shocking and sad about this is that the discreet and unattached individual called “